People with low self esteem can be upset by ‘disconfirming feedback.’ In other words if something happens which indicates that they may not be as terrible as they thought, it can feel disturbing as it contradicts their way of perceiving. Healthy self esteem needs to emerge subtly, not as a sudden result of hearing you are ‘really special’ or ‘fantastic’.
Here is the some characteristics of low self esteem
- Social withdrawal
- Anxiety and emotional turmoil
- Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression and/or bouts of sadness
- Less social conformity
- Eating disorders
- Inability to accept compliments
- An Inability to see yourself ’squarely’ – to be fair to yourself
- Accentuating the negative
- Exaggerated concern over what they imagine other people think
- Self neglect
- Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
- Worrying whether you have treated others badly
- Reluctance to take on challenges
- Reluctance to trust your own opinion
- Expect little out of life for yourself
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When you consider that low self-esteem is usually the result of negative messages being absorbed by the subconscious, it makes sense that feeding your mind more positive messages can make a powerful difference!
What stops most people is the uncertainty of what to say, and how to word affirmations for optimal effectiveness. Below you’ll find some simple tips to help you write effective affirmations for improving your self-esteem.
1) Present tense. First, it’s helpful to word affirmations in present tense, not future. You wouldn’t want to say, “I will learn to love myself” because that makes it sound like you’ll get around to it “someday.” Instead you could say, “I choose to love myself.” The wording of that affirmation does two things: it empowers you with the addition of the words “choose to,” and it puts the timeframe in the present moment.
2) Believable. At the same time, your affirmations should be believable to you. If you tried to say, “I am a wonderful person with a lot to offer the world,” you may not really believe that, so your subconscious mind might reject it. Instead, try to focus on a process rather than an end result in your affirmations. Say something like, “I am learning to embrace my uniqueness and share it confidently with others.”
3) Use the right tone. When you recite affirmations, you can do so aloud or just mentally, but you should focus heavily on the TONE you use. Rather than saying the words without emotion like you were reading a newspaper – really inject an element of love and tenderness into them. Your subconscious mind picks up on the emotional aspect of what you’re saying more than the actual words. Imagine the difference between saying the words, “I really love myself” with a tone of love and compassion, or sarcasm. Which do you think would have a greater impact on your subconscious mind?
4) Repetition. Once you’ve got some affirmations formed to work on your self-esteem, try saying them several times a day. Remember, your subconscious mind is constantly playing back old, negative messages – so you want to counteract those as much as possible. Keep reciting your more positive thoughts on a regular basis – especially when you become aware that you’re thinking negatively about yourself.
5) Give it time. Finally, remember that it will take time to change those old, negative messages in your mind to something more positive. It may take a few weeks or even months before you’ll notice an obvious difference in how you feel, and you may be tempted to think it isn’t working. Keep with it, and you will begin to see a difference eventually! Most likely it will be a gradual change. Little by little you’ll start feeling more positive, and notice that you’re feeling a bit happier and lighter. That’s your signal that it’s working!
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So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.
Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everybody else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self confidence and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?
1)Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self confidence. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, however in a healthy competition that’s.
2) Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.
3) Altering Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and changes the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress however it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.
4) Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. However don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.
5) Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.
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Self image: The opinion which one thinks of him/herself. Whether you see yourselve as fat, stupid, smart, beautiful sexy, talented or incompetent is how you paint your portrait of yourself.
Once you have painted that portrait your subconscious tends to believe it, and you take on the characteristics of those qualities as if they are true whether they are good beliefs or limiting beliefs.
In America (the success capital of the world) most people live their lives with a very low self belief of themselves, especially when it comes to business and financial success.
So how is it that we tend to develop the image of ourselves? When we are born we come out knowing absolutely nothing; everything we learn we learn from other people.
For instance; take any two year old and they will be extremely self confident. They do not care about what society thinks, their appearance, or anything until an adult begins to influence their thoughts. They believe they can take on the world and conquer anything without any fear of failing.
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